care and lose

the more you care, the more you lose.

recently, i care too much of what people's minds thinking. i feel doubtful when a person is being friendly. "is he/she being friendly is just trying to get attention from someone" "how fake is he doing that kind of move to flirt a girl colleague""her laugh is so horribly fake""she laugh out loud is just to get into the crowd"........all these come to my mind, everyday.

the more i care about what a true friend should behave, the more friendships that i had lose. the more i care about a girl who i find great to talking to, the more i feel like to being a part from her.

well, well, boy....this is my 24th. what will i be when i'm 30th? let's see my boy. cheers!!

p/s: i should move on.

from love to hate

It's been a while.

I started to analyse myself. For the past two months, i been spending most of the time with myself. Going lunch alone, having tea break by myself, not joining for any after work activities, not going yam cha with the gang. Alone can be good, if you didn't feel any lonesome. But sadly, i felt its like i had left behind from the world. People keep asking me why u wanna be solo for doing things, i just answer them that i really enjoy these moment. But in fact, i'm not.

I really need someone. Someone who can talk and share idea together, who really can give me the feeling of freedom when hang around. However, and now i knew, there is only one guy can do that, which means he is the real and only best friend of mine. Thanks Vic for being my guide when i'm lost. But i know, i can't had him for the whole time. I'm not gay and you had to let your friend has his own life.

I used to has a thought of delete the FB acc just because i always felt jealous when reading people's post with lots of comments and likes. it's different with mine, i jealous, really. I know i'm naive with this kind of thought. But now a days, i really easy to get jealous on people laugh and talks.

I started to hate the one i like, the one that i had a crush on. Because she can life better than me, hopefully she is. Well, i can't said she is, because she's not showing her real feeling in front of me, at least.

Hmmmmmm..........seems like the first half of 2014 is not going too well for me.